JULY

I am so ready to have this surgery over with so I can get on with my life. Because my body is shaped different now, I have to be very careful of what I wear. When you have a mastectomy they remove muscle, fat and all breast tissue. The bra and inserts look real under your clothing but if you bend over and someone sees down your shirt it is very obvious you have something “different” going on. Normally, if you bend over to pick something up or your holding your kids and they tug on your shirt and pull it down a little people just see a little cleavage. In my case, they see a big padded bra.

It is already 115 degrees and I mostly wear tanks. I have to be careful to make sure they are not too low in the front and/or too low under the arms because the insert will be seen. I spend more time getting dressed and trying on outfits than driving to where I am going.

Another problem, I am officially in menopause. It is HORRIBLE!!!! They are going me a shot to keep me in a menopausal state and meds to prevent estrogen for the next 5 yrs. I always heard women complaining about hot flashes, I now realize why. For no reason at all, you will break out into a sweat. It is 10 times worse than being pregnant. My poor family is freezing in our house. Last summer we kept it at 78, this summer 71 and I am still hot. We have blankets for my husband and kids on every chair in every room of the house. My friend is coming in town next week to visit and I warned her to bring her thermals. She is going to need it!

We are taking the kids swimming for the first time since the surgery tomorrow. Since I can’t just throw on a swim suit, I bought a rash guard shirt similar to the ones surfers wear so I could wear my bra and breast prosthesis. I tried it on tonight and it looks really natural. The swim suits they sell for post mastectomy are really ugly and for older ladies. I don’t want to be mean, but the designers should all be fired. It is wrong to make people who have already been through so much wear ugly swim suits. lol

On a positive note, I feel amazing! My energy level is back and I am loving it!!! I have been teaching my spinning classes twice a week. Back to running, kick boxing and zumba. My hair is growing fast and a lot of people who don't know me or what I have been through this year tell me how cute the style is which makes me laugh. I don't love it but it works and is better than being bald. I get a lot of salutes on base. Most people think I'm a Marine. I just nod when they salute me and giggle when they pass. It cracks me up.